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Boy do I have issues....

May 18th, 2010 at 07:41 pm

Hello! Thank you for taking the time to visit my blog page. As my entry title suggests, I have issues of the financial kind. Well, lets face it...I have issues of several kind but I guess this is the place to discuss the financial ones. I'll have to find another site to blog about the others.

I am not sure where to begin with the mess I have created. I don't have exact figures to share with you. I can say that about 95% of my debt is credit card debt. The remaining 5% is my car payment and student loan. I am going to guesstimate that my credit card debt is about 20k. What, you may ask did I spend that money on? Funny you should ask as I look at that figure and wonder the same thing.

I do know that being a parent is very expensive but I can't blame this all on my kids....I like to shop. A lot. For clothes mostly. I often wonder if I have a shopping addiction. Currently I am trying to stay out of stores because if I don't go in, I won't spend. I don't really engage in on-line shopping so no worries there.

If you took a glimpse at my marriage you would see 2 successful people, holding down 2 successful jobs. My husband has always been great with his money. He is able to use his credit card during the month and pay it off every month. He has no debt except for his car loan. I, on the other hand, use my credit cards to make up for the money I don't make. My husband makes twice as much as me. We have seperate checking accounts and a shared savings account. This works for us. I don't like the idea of someone constantly questioning me about how I am spending my money and I don't think it is fair of me to do the same. Although the more I think about it, the more I think I do need someone challenging me. The way we break down expenses are as follows:
Husband is responsible for the house payment, day care, his car and insurance, his credit card.
I am responsible for all the utilities, most of the kids stuff, groceries, my car payment and insurance, credit card bills, and student loan.
Once the fall is here and our son is no longer in all day, every day daycare that expense will drop dramatically and I am hoping my husband will take over some of the utilities.

I know what you are wondering...if we have such seperate financial lives, does he know about my debt? Well, he has a vague idea. He doesn't know how bad it is and seriously, I don't want him to know. I think he would leave me if he knew. And then where would I be? I am hoping, and I may be living in a fantasy world here, but I am hoping that I am able to get this under control before he realizes how large it is. Call me crazy, I know.

So my fellow peeps...I am hoping that by blogging about this huge mess I will be inspired to stop shopping and start digging my way out. I am always open to suggestions and will try just about anything to fix this situation. I will try to get more details posted so you have a better idea of where I am coming from, but in a nutshell this is me.

10 Responses to “Boy do I have issues....”

  1. momcents Says:


    Welcome to SA. I've blogged for some time and have found this a great place to organize my thoughts and get feedback. My financial situation is somewhat less complicated than yours in that we're a one income family and I'm a SAHM to five (to be six in Nov) kids. I am not commenting on your financial arrangement with your husband, but I do feel that perhaps your communication on financial issues might need a tune-up. We don't have separate finances, but I did feel that DH wasn't involved as he could be in decision-making and prioritizing of things, etc. We attended a money-management seminar this past summer and things have improved greatly! Looking forward to seeing your progress.

  2. LittleMsMom Says:

    First off.....WELCOME!!!!!

    I want to suggest as a starting point that you sit down with a notebook or computer whatever you prefer and start figuring out your debt.

    You said you did not know, so I suggest listing all your creditors and next to it putting your current balance. That way you have an idea your debt.

    Then next to each I would put the interest rate. That way later you can organize it by interest rate or balance (smallest to largest).

    If you post it on your blog it will be a reminder of where you started from and what progress you have made.

    Good Luck.!!

  3. Ima saver Says:

    Welcome, glad you have joined us! I have not been to a mall in over 10 years and that has really saved me money. I just don't need all that stuff!

  4. creditcardfree Says:

    Welcome! I'm not a big shopper, but I do know that I spend less the fewer stores I'm in. I also agree that less stuff is better!!

    Can you sell some of your things to help pay down the debt?

  5. whitestripe Says:

    welcome to sa! hopefully you'll find lots of advice and encouragement here to help you get your debts and spending under control.

    can i ask, is your household expenses vs income the same ratio as your husbands? i only ask because when you are married, you are a team, and so even if your finances are separate (which i agree works for some people) it should still be fair, and you mentioned that your husband makes more than you do. also, being a team means that the good and bad moments should be shared. it's not entirely fair that your husband doesn't know about your debts - it's a good idea to be open and honest, this way you will feel more accountable for your actions and will curb any extra spending in the future. you wouldn't want to pay all this off, only for it to happen again.

    that being said, take the advice of the comments written above and start writing down exactly how much your debts are. it's no good having your head in the sand.

    looking forward to reading further posts about your progress.

  6. ceejay74 Says:

    Welcome! If separate finances work for you, then good. But I'd make sure you both have the exact same surplus at the end of the month. Is he ending up with more money left over after his fixed bills? Make sure that isn't part of the problem. I don't think the person who makes more money should have more disposable income, not when you have shared lives.

    This site has helped me pay down nearly $100K of debt! It can be done...

  7. ceejay74 Says:

    LOL whitestripe, we were writing similar thoughts simultaneously, I guess. Great minds and all. Wink

  8. whitestripe Says:

    haha ceejay Big Grin

  9. Looking Forward Says:

    Welcome!

  10. Ralph Says:

    Welcome, and good luck. I agree 1 million percent about staying out of stores! Just say no!

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